Who Am I?

ISFJ

 I: 22%    S:1%    F:75%     J:1%

The "personality description" was surprisingly accurate and there were many things I do that I didn't realize, so that is good to keep tabs on from now on.  There were only two parts I didn't agree with (which I crossed out), but that's bound to happen in a quick little test like this.  Here are some of the descriptions which I felt very relevant to myself:


"ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life.

...although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well.
 Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem."


The only reason I disagreed with those two crossed out portions is because I personally did not agree with them; I don't expect a give-and-take relationship at all or feel an insatiable "need to be needed".  Also I would say that in I fight, I would be the first to rush in to protect a friend-no matter the circumstance.  That may be the oh so strong emotions motivating me or my disdain for disrespect.  Who knows, since I've never been in a fight before.

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But now on to the Affirmation Solicitations!!
First off, I just want to say thank you to those who filled these out as it was a great encouragement and very helpful.

5 of my words were:
1. Understanding
2. Genuine
3. Maturity
4. Humble
5. Perseverant

"Over the years, Hanna has shown tremendous growth in her personal development, spiritual life, and leadership capabilities.  She has a natural, yet uncanny, sense of adaptability; Hanna is able to observe and gather information about her surrounding, peer environment, and social climate and assess needs, both the needs of those around her and her own needs to flourish and succeed.  This is one trait that is foundational to her growth as a leader.  What really makes her stand out is her ability to come alongside people and partner with them, to see the best in everyone and highlight that.  In all that though, Hanna has such a pleasant and humble spirit and such a heart for service.  She is all too ready to deter praise and acknowledge her human limitations, but that doesn't stop her from loving on people, and I believe that is a very rare kind of confidence."

This little litany (hehe) especially touched me because the individual didn't know I was going to read this and just thought it was for my teachers.  He may or may not have freaked out a little when he found out I was going to read it, but I'm all the more appreciative of his words knowing he was being honest (I hope....).

Sorry this somehow became insanely long but I appreciate if you read all the way through!! :)

Handing It Over

I was originally going to write about Bryce's topic, Christ making cottages into palaces, but I decided to change my quote and write about another aspect of the book that impacted me.  This quote comes from the 12th chapter called Faith.  It says:

               I know the words 'leave it to God' can be misunderstood, but they must stay for the moment.  The sense in which a Christian leaves it to God is that he puts all his trust in Christ: trusts that Christ will somehow share with him the perfect human obedience which He carried out from His birth to His crucifixion: that Christ will make the man more like Himself and, in a sense, make good his deficiencies...handing everything over to Christ does not, of course, mean that you stop trying.  To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says.  There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice.  Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him.  But trying in a new way, a less worried.  Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already.  Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you (147-148).

This quote, as long as it is, really impacted me because I have an especially hard time truly trusting Christ in the sense that I know that God has a plan for me, and I trust Him that it is the best plan since He knows me more than I know myself, but I still find it hard to not worry at all and give it all to Him.  It is so reassuring, knowing that I don't need to worry, yet I still get caught up and spend so much unnecessary time stressing over little things.

My doubtful thoughts and lack of faith prevent me from being able to let go and live my life out for Christ in the way I wish I could and the way that Lewis describes in this quote-right now, especially, with all the decisions I must make about college and my future.  Even the fact that I sometimes become "fed up" with the things of this world and wish God could just magically make everything come together without me having to work hard at it.  Take the SAT's for example, sometimes I wonder if I really need to spend all this time studying and stressing out over a little test that probably won't even matter where I am aiming to apply to.  I just wish I could skip the seemingly unimportant/worldly things in life, but I know I should do all things to the glory of God, and not man.  Even so, it is hard to remember.

It is not only hard to remember, but hard to do.  The quote says that we must try to do what he says.  Personally, I find it very difficult to discern what God wants me to do and what I am telling myself I would prefer.  Sometimes I don't know the difference between the two and get caught up in technicalities and details.  Or even some days may not have had the best start and I feel ashamed for not responding in a way that's glorifying to God, and that itself makes me angry and disappointed in myself for not representing Christ accurately (as we discussed in UTT).  This is one area I feel especially susceptible to the devil's lies and one area of weakness in my life.  I pray that God will strengthen me and give me confidence and faith the go all in for Jesus and trust Him with every aspect of my life!  And I'm excited to see the end result. I cannot even begin to believe I will be off to college in about a year!  One day I'll get to look back on this with a smile and know that God really did have the best plan for me in store.

The Dancer

            So my analogy was actually a picutre I received at a prayer session called "Original Design" where you meet with people you do not know and have never met and they pray and ask God to reveal to us what His original design was for our lives and what He has planned and dreamed for us to do.  During the session they received seven different sort of analogies for my design, but this particular picture really resonated with me and illustrates my life accurately. 



             The scene opened with a vast, dark and empty stage.  One dancer (that is me) comes out and starts her routine.  She is dancing on pointe (ballet) with a huge smile on her face and is glowing on that lonely stage.  As she dances, various individuals come and join her, and they dance together beautifully, in pairs and in groups.  She dances with all her heart and joy with all the people who continually pass through, but there is only one person in the audience, watching with a smile on His face, and that is God.




              The funny thing is, I never did ballet, but I always wanted to, and I'm  not very good at dancing, but I love it.  This picture really touched my heart because it really is true how I desire to live my life: only for God and his approval and not seeking what man deems "good".  The past few years have especially been a struggle in this area of fear of man vs. God and reminds me where I must keep my focus. :)

Litany: Revised

A Design

You are the rice and the cheese,

The maple candy and the sugar cubes.

You are the pristine ice reflecting the light

and the harsh salt water stinging every scratch.

You are the red turtlenecks during wintertime,
and the chickadees fluttering from tree to tree.

Although, you are not the pond in the forest,

the salted almonds on the table,

or the game of wizard.

And of course you are not the pollen-filled Spring air.

There is simply no way you are the pollen-filled Spring air.

It is possible that you are the boat in the bay,

perhaps even the seal with a ball on its nose,

but you are not even close

to being the blackberries in late summer.

A glance at your reflection in the water will tell 

that you are neither the bandages fallen at the side of the bed

nor the bike suspended in its bike rack.

It may please you to know,

speaking of the wonders of this life,
that I am the sound of cheering in the gymnasium.

I also happen to be the footsteps along the beach,
the constant prayers rising to the heavens

and the strawberry shortcake bar in the freezer.

I am also the western setting sun
and the sweet satsumas in each stocking.
But don't worry, I'm not the rice and the cheese,
but you are no longer these things either.
You are now the footsteps along the beach
and somehow, the sweet satsumas in each stocking.