Da Stahz

Whale, to start off, I've been quiteee busy recently and thought I would have more time to do this reflection walk (preferably when i was light out), buuut I didn't but that's okay.  Instead I sort of went on a late night adventure with my brother to the park and we got to shoot some pics of stars and them he let me edit them when we got home.  Being a hormonal teenage girl, I often contemplate life on a daily basis and have done many of my own reflections here and there.  I tend to reflect better with other people because if it's just me, I tend to lose focus and somehow end up crying.  So this was good to chat with ma bro.   

My "photography robot" (that's what Matthew called himself) let me be the "Artistic Director" and tell him what to do and he would set up the camera and then I would snap the 30 second long picture and see if it turned our alright.  This gave me some time to think and, really, the only thing I could think about was how blessed I am.  I sometimes get so tired of saying that, like it sounds like I'm just using the cliche answer, but I truly cannot express the overwhelming blessings that God has poured out.  I don't understand why I get to experience life in this light or why someone else has to suffer.  When I look at all my blessings, the biggest thing it makes me want to do is help others.  I want others to experience life to the fullest and just make it as enjoyable as possible.  

Okay.  I am going to talk about some things that I never really voiced before because I was always too scared of being judged.  So, as getting over my fear of man was one of my main resolutions, here I go!...
Sometimes I get really, really sad randomly during the day when I think about how people live without God.  I just honestly don't know if I could get through a day knowing that God is always by my side and constantly talking to Him and asking Him to help and lead me.  I always think about this, and how badly I want our school to know Jesus personally, because I just don't understand how anyone can get through life without Him.  There are times when I wish I wasn't the chaplain because I feel it inhibits my ability to communicate with other students how I feel-that they'll just say things like "Oh, she's just saying that cause she has to since she's the chaplain".  No. I truly, honestly feel sooo passionately about an individual's personal relationship with God and I don't know what to do.  I get so frustrated when I feel like there's nothing I can do or that people won't listen to me.  I admit that I really haven't been put through times where my faith is questioned due to circumstances, and I feel that this has inhibited the relativity of my testimony and desires for others.  Probably half of these things that run through my head are lies from the enemy, but they are so strong, I don't know how to deny them.  So I guess, in short, one of my goals is to live fearlessly and passionately, not letting fear of man or the lies of Satan hold me back.
Whew, I did it.

Wow, yeah.  The stars are gorgeous right? haha I feel like I haven't even talked about them... But stars are probably one of my favorite things to look at, so I'm really glad I got to take some pictures and whatnot.
I wonder, what does life look like in the eyes of another person.  I wish we could all switch places for a day and just see how others think and how they interpret different situations.  Just a thought.

Wowwwwwww I spent too much time on this.... Good thing I took a 3 hour nap in the car earlier... But I guess I just wanted to close by saying thanks, Mrs. Myers, for assigning this and I had a very productive (in a different sense) reflection time and really have some things in mind I need to work on and goals I would like to accomplish before the year ends.  It's hard to believe that the next time we'll be making New Year's Resolutions we'll be in college... ahhhhhh not readyyy... but grah! Yeah, live life in the moment and work hard for the future, yes? I will try my best to do these things and am praying for the best for the rest of y'all!