Friday, October 18, 2013

Passive-Agressive

Everyone has seen her; walking the halls with her shoulders slightly slumped, eyes fixed on the ground, a small smirk on her lips.  Everyone has heard her speak; sharing devotionals, praying for the school, in an awkward but heartwarming manner.  Everyone has heard her name; the well-known name that all feel the need to shout out rapidly: “KU-MA-SA-KA!”


That day was no different than the others; she drowsily journeyed from class to class, trying not to let her head droop for too long.  She quietly and studiously scribbled notes on a scratch piece of paper, worried she wouldn't remember anything the next day.  Her eyes lit up suddenly as she conversed with those she loves.  That’s what gets her through each day.  She laughed and giggled, like many girls do, but then there were moments when she seemed totally removed from the world, staring off into space, vital information going in one ear, then out the other.  Eyes fixated on the floor, her whole face seemed downcast and dejected.  Yet when a friend came up and asked “Are you okay?” she brushed it off and says with a smile, “Oh, yeah! I’m just tired”.    Immediately after doing so, she quickly turned away, mentally kicking herself for lying to the ones who mean the most her, but she never ends up bringing up the subject again. 

At 2:45 she let out a long sigh as the last chime of the bell sounds in each class.  Throngs of students poured out into the halls as she quickly becomes engulfed within the masses.  She slowly shuffled to her locker, maneuvering her way through the congested hallways.  Snatching her oversized bag, she trotted to the bathroom with dubstep in her head and a smile on her lips.  Game time. 

Sitting in the back of the room, she quietly observed her rowdy teammates while slowly eating her pregame meal.  She laughed with them, but always seemed removed from the whole scene, like an outsider looking in. 

She thoughtfully bandaged her fingers and ankles, carefully spreading ointment to protect her dry, cracked skin through the activity to come.  At 4:30, she plopped down on the cold bleachers, proceeding to shout out encouragements to the JV team, wondering if anyone really heard her.  This continued through their game, and they came out on top.  Now it was her turn.

Finally, her heart racing, she bursts through the tunnel of JV players, her face glowing with excitement, followed by her fellow teammates.  The lyrics “can’t hold us” blast over the speakers as that becomes her knew mindset.  Nothing can hold her back.  She comes alive in this art of a sport called volleyball.  With nonstop communication with her teammates, she yells out everything she sees as the team flows together like one unified unit.  Her timidity during the school day dissolves away as she strategically picks out the weak link in the line of passers on the opposing team.  She pinpoints the individual, takes a deep breath, and “ACE!” rings through the whole gym and she repeats the exhilarating process.  She serves the ball and the opponents pass it up and tip it over the two person block.  The passionate player sprawls out and hits the ground hard to pop the ball up, but misses.  She angrily smacks the ground as she gets up, fire in her eyes. 


As the team loses momentum and the game as well, she tries desperately to fire up her team to fight alongside her.  She rallies her teammates by giving a passionate pep talk and yelling at the top of her lungs as they cheer.  Unfortunately, the game was lost and the players, frustrated.  At the end of the night, our senior setter walks to the end line of the court to check out, leading her teammates, with her chin held high.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Brotherly Love: A Personal Statement in Progress

            As I plopped down to do my homework after an exhausting day full of school and sports, my brother cheerfully shuffled up to me with a light in his eyes.  I looked up to see him standing there, hands behind his back, trying to suppress a smile.  I was not in any mood to interact with him or even talk to anyone at that point and was going to tell him I had a lot of homework and things I had to do when he quickly pulled his hands from behind his back revealing a plush Pokémon character and five key chains of characters from the movie Totoro.  “I bought them from China for five dollars!” he exclaimed earnestly.  My mom sighed and laughed and proceeded to tell him that it is not necessary to announce details like that in the future.   I did not know what the Pokémon was, having not watched our favorite childhood television program in years, but it brought me great joy and a smile to my lips.  I gave him a hug and said thank you, and he sauntered away, humming some video game music.

            My older brother, Colby, was diagnosed with mild autism at a young age.  As his little sister, I did not fully understand what this meant until our later years growing up.  It does not affect him so much that you can tell just by looking at him that he has autism, but he has a difficult time discerning appropriate times for certain behaviors and picking up on unspoken social etiquette.  It hasn't been easy all the time, but he brings immense joy and variety into my family.

Throughout everything, he is always there.  Like constant in my life, he has always there to support me in everything I did ranging from dance recitals, to academic award assemblies, to the countless volleyball tournaments over these past five years.  No matter the outcome, he is always there to give me a pat on the shoulder and tell me “Great job Hannio”. 

His constant love has also shown me the most innocent heart that I have beheld, being torn and conflicted by the insensitive attitudes of those around him.  Without his sensitive spirit, I most likely would not have even noticed these small things such as harmful words that bother him so much.  His sensitivity has impacted me and I am now aware of the power of words and want to see the best in everyone, no matter what the circumstances.  I feel like I have been introduced to a whole new aspect of life that I wish more people could witness; but then come the hard days.

            I have a distinct memory in my mind of Colby sitting at the computer, staring at a blank Word Document for hours upon hours, trying to write an essay.  His condition made it especially challenging to express himself through words and analyze deeper implications in works of literature.  But year after year, he worked at it, and through countless hours of help from our Dad, he overcame his struggle and is now one of the most affluent writers I know.  The day he received a perfect score on an essay he wrote with absolutely no help was like a dream come true for our family.  By example, he has taught me to persevere through hardships and has shown me what hard work and dedication can do.  I desire to strive and succeed in whatever I do, using the gifts and abilities given to me to their full potential.

            Watching my brother struggle and flourish has softened my heart to care for those around me and has motivated me to work hard at everything I do. No matter what the outcome, I know that he, and my family, will always be there to affirm their love for me and say “Great job, Hanna”. 



Word Count: 647 :)
Please feel free to comment on anything to revise or fix, and even things you would want to see in this essay! Feedback would be very helpful. :)